I get home from work. Thinking, I got this! No smokes tonight.
Man was that a joke. I bailed and started smoking within the first couple of hours.
Now I’m super frustrated. Down on myself and just in a generally bad mood because I couldn’t muster up the fortitude to stick to my plan.
”What the hell is wrong with me?”
”I guess I’m never going to kick this thing”.
Those were the only two streams of thought that I had for the rest of the night. By the time my head hit the pillow i wasn’t feeling very good about myself and felt like I would never get a hold on this.
By the next morning I had conceded my failure and continued to smoke. I hated myself, honestly.
I was in desperation mode. I needed to quit. I needed to prove to myself that I could do it.
My Every waking thought was about how and what would help me kick the habit.
I wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to go cold turkey again. So I started looking for non drug related options.
One of the guys at work had been using an e-cigarette. Not to quit just because he liked it.
So I did some research and found that it is potentially less harmful than cigarettes. There seems to be no issue with second hand vape and they come in differing levels of nicotine.
I found my silver lining.
I was going to give vaping a try. But only for a short duration. Making very sure that I wasn’t just trading one habit for another.
Even though I still had half a pack of cigarettes left. I stopped on the way home and picked up an e-cigarette.
I opted to start using that and leave the cigarettes as a “just in case this doesn’t do the trick”, situation.
I started using that immediately. It worked great, had all the trimmings. It felt like I was smoking but not. I got the nicotine my body was used to and I wasn’t smoking all day every day. I would just take hits off it throughout the day.
I started to feel much better about this no smoking situation.
As a foot note I would like to say that I don’t suggest that people start vaping instead of smoking. There is still a lot that is not understood about it. For me it was something that I had to try and I can see how easily it can become a replacement for cigarettes. Anything you do use, to help you out, should be viewed as a tool and not a crutch. So please do your research and consult a physician before you try any cessation or quit smoking products.
To be continued…a